The Echo Chamber Blog

With Thanksgiving come and gone, most major media outlets have released their annual “turkey” lists.  The sports world has released plenty of these lists featuring all the usual suspects: “Pac Man” Jones, Plaxico Burress, etc.  Many people who have been pissing me off for a long time never appear on these lists.  So I am making my own.  Here is my list of “Turkeys.” 

10. Mike Krzyzewski-  Is there any coach more self-righteous than Coach K.  Thanks to his coaching of “The Redeem Team” in this year’s Olympics, he is everywhere these days.  What exactly did he do in Beijing?  Coach K learned from the failures of task masters like George Karl and Larry Brown and stayed the hell out of the way.  All this Olympic team did was what every team since the original Dream Team should have done; beat up on inferior competition.  Anyone who has been watching Duke lately might want to hold off on buying any of his sermon like books on success.  When he has had great players, he has won championships.  When he hasn’t, he has had early exits from the tourney.  Duke will most likely be in the middle of the ACC pack for a long time, as true blue chip recruits will no longer attend Duke knowing that Coach K’s mighty system will only stunt their progress to the NBA.  K will continue to get middle-of-the-road-recruits and turn them into future Duke assistant coaches, and the Cameron Crazies will continue to paint their faces and hope for a sweet sixteen appearance. 

9.  Norv Turner-  This guy is the worst football coach I have ever seen.  He makes Richie Kotite look like Knute Rockne.  This guy inspires absolutely no one.  Tactically, he is one of the worst I’ve ever seen.  The next time he takes a risk will be the first.  He has been coaching to not lose his entire career and keeps getting jobs.  He must have pictures of someone.  This season has to be considered one of his worst. The Chargers have had a lot of injuries, which they always point out when they lose.  As soon as they had an excuse they took it and laid down.  Any team will take on the personality of their coach and this team certainly did.

8.  Stephon Marbury- He’s here more for the head tattoo than what’s been going on with him and the Knicks.

7. New York Knicks- Classic example of reaping what you sow.  They didn’t want to pay Marbury the ridiculous contract they signed him to, so they sat him out all year hoping he would do something stupid to allow the team to recoup some of his money.  Marbury didn’t hold up his end, as he sat and took the DNP”s as quietly as a Buddhist monk.  So what, dress or not, they had to pay him.  Then things got real funny this week.  The Knicks made a huge trade to free up Lebron money for 2010, have some injury issues, and end up shorthanded with only 8 healthy players.  They ask Starbury to dress for the game and he says thanks but no thanks, I’ll sit this one out.  I’m really rooting for Marbury on this one. Go get every penny, Steph.  They were stupid enough to guarantee it to an aging, me-first point guard.  Let’s see some fiscal responsibility. 

6.  Scott Boras- The real commissioner of baseball, Boras has become a character more like Dr. Faust than Jerry Maguire.  When will enough be enough? Four years and 56 million for a catcher that hit .220!  Don’t even think about it Theo.  Boras must have some type of hypnosis negotiating tactics to get these contracts for players.

5.  LeBron James-  LeBron seems to be on a two year campaign for his free agency.  What went on in New York last week was crazy.   The mantra was come to MSG to see our superstar come 2010.  James ate this shit up.  He acted as if he was on job interview the entire game.  He was practically kissing babies in the stands.  Then he returned to Cleveland the next game, went out to center court by himself, and saluted the Cavs fans to a standing ovation.  This is how loyalty dies, with thunderous applause.  Cleveland fans should be embarrassed.  The only thing they are witnesses to is shameless self promotion.  That crappy Cleveland team might even win a championship as more and more teams begin to look like the Washington Generals as they slash payroll in anticipation of “Bron Bron’s” free agency.  I don’t care how great he plays, if a Boston player tried this crap he wouldn’t have to wait for his contract to be up.  The fans would form a mob and walk him to the state line. 

4.  Chad Johnson-  Ocho Cinco is no bueno.  As his game falls off, his persona continues to grow.  For some strange reason the NFL network decided to run a live interview with Ocho Stinko during halftime of Pats v. Jets a few weeks ago.  In a classic move, Johnson spoke live from his living room, sitting under a gigantic picture of himself.  Priceless.

3.  Derek Jeter-  A few years ago he would have been #1 on this list.  Now that he’s not very good, he doesn’t bother me as much.  The range-less singles machine will still drive me crazy with his top-step, camera-searching, dugout antics.  I really can’t stand the way he slaps his glove on his thigh after catching pop-ups and the way he leans in to pitches to make it look like every pitcher is trying to kill him.

2.  A-rod-   Madonna?  Really?  A-Rod should know that dating someone like Madonna is always perceived as a desperate attempt to stay in the spotlight.  Purple lips has got to be crazy.  I guess when you’re as rich as The Rod is, dating Madonna is like buying an original Warhol, or a Thoroughbred.  Pure status moves.  I hope banging The Material Girl and flying around with Warren Buffet can help fill the void of postseason failures that resides in Rod’s gut.

And finally…. the #1 sports douche bag is

Brett Favre-  2008 is becoming the year of Brett, and it makes me want to puke.  Other QB’s play with his recklessness and they’re considered selfish.  Favre is just enthusiastic and improvisational.  It seems like the media can’t use his name with putting the word Magical somewhere near it.  The best part is, it’s all bullshit.  He held the Packers hostage for years by hinting at retiring and making them beg for him to come back.  Last year he had stats inflated by great receiver’s and when the team needed him to make a huge play, he did what he always does—threw the ball to the other team.  Now he is the new Prince of NYC, until he throws that crucial pick.