For about the past five days now I’ve had a wicked case of the munchies. I keep eating all this garbage (PB&J’s topped with chocolate syrup and Cool Whip, HERSHEY’S bars dipped in peanut butter, and a few of these bad muh’fucka’s) because I can’t seem to find what I truly want: a Choco Taco. I feel like Woody Harrelson in Zombieland searching for the world’s last Twinkie, but, problem is, I’m not staying fit with any rigorous zombie-killing cardiovascular workouts.
Well, today is another day, which means my soon-to-be fat ass can swing through a couple more hood-markets to scope out their frozen novelty selection. Who knows why Choco Taco’s are so hard to find these days, especially when Klondike, the company who produces these delicious chocolate-covered ice cream-filled peanut-topped works of art, always has a prime amount of real estate in the freezer section.
Did people in Rhode Island seriously stop buying Choco Taco’s, or is this a worldly issue? I mean, they have a god damn Facebook page, so they must still be out there somewhere. Maybe Klondike decided to remove Choco Taco’s from the market after Urban Dictionary exposed their true origin, and this Facebook page is just an underground cult following of feces-worshiping weirdos. All I know is this — I don’t care. I want a Choco Taco. The ice cream kind, you sicko.
Filed under: We're Fat Boys Who Like Food | Tagged: Choco Taco, Klondike, Urban Dictionary
