Clarks to Provide Sponsorship for Record Store Day 2013

Posted on March 6, 2013 by Chris

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While it’s nice to see Record Store Day get some decent sponsorships this year, it seems criminal to me how Clarks is doing a promotional 7″ with Best Coast, and nothing at all Ghostface Killah-related. I mean, I’m fine with Best Coast and whatnot, but, shit, I’m pretty sure Ghostface single-handedly put the British shoe company onto the urban landscape. At least in my mind, if we’re talking Wallabee’s, I immediately think of GFK, specifically the cover of Ironman and the memorable opening seconds of Only Built 4 Cuban Linx‘s “Glaciers of Ice.”

But, as you can see by looking at their website, Clarks isn’t exactly gearing their marketing machine towards much other than these types of whites:

  • Identical douche-bags in Land Rovers
  • Pussies playing make-believe acoustic guitar in flower gardens
  • Seven-year-old Yacht Club members
  • Trendy scenester city folk

Sorry, Ghost. I was hoping for them navy blue and cream-colored joints, too. Maybe next year they’ll have crazy visions with you, homie.

That aside, at least Get On Down, the Boston-based company behind the slew of recent exclusive hip-hop memorabilia, has done something to coincide with this Record Store Day madness. Check this out, they just started shipping last Friday.

Filed under: 401 Gettin' It Done, Events, Hip-Hop, Music, News, This Is Not Hip-Hop, Throwback Rap Attack | Tagged: , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a Comment »

“Don’t want my mp3.” -Neil Young

Posted on March 5, 2013 by Chris

neil

This post has been deleted a number of times already. In its prior versions, I cried mostly about digitalization and how it facilitates the short-lived shelf lives of today’s music.  And how I still prefer buying any format of music before settling on digital, which, aside from what I do on here, I’m almost completely opposed to supporting. But I kind of sounded like a dinosaur dick, so here I am now with this abbreviated version.

Moving on. Now the point of this post is to let those who read our site know how I’m opening a new section — “Recent Purchases.” Doing so will hopefully encourage me to write more about the new music I’m buying and, just as importantly, the music I’m still catching up on. I buy primarily CD’s, but also scoop up a fair share on vinyl. My cassette collection is now at two, thanks to this catastrophe. I’ve marked this bad boy right here as the first of “Recent Purchases” because that post alone cost a few hundred dollars and it’s a good example of what to expect in the future.

The following is most of what I’ve bought so far in 2013…

(more…)

Filed under: 401 Gettin' It Done, Album Talk/Review, Hip-Hop, Instrumental, Music, News, Recent Purchases, This Is Not Hip-Hop, Throwback Rap Attack | Tagged: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a Comment »

PerfectOne69 has sent you a message.

Posted on August 14, 2012 by Chris

If you missed this on Dateline, the entire Tim Dog scandal can now be found on YouTube. The first part is above, and the second, third, fourth, fifth, sixth, seventh, eighth, ninth, tenth and eleventh parts of the special can be found by following each of those links I just dropped on that ass.

The entire story is pretty hilarious, and, if you ask me, these dames were asking for it.  Just look at the track-listing for Penicilin on Wax – “Low Down N*gga,” “I’ll Wax Anybody,” “Dogs Gonna Getcha,” “Going Wild In The Penile” — and tell me this sounds like a motherfucker you should be dating, sleeping with, and trusting with your money. And aside from the fact that Tim Blair is thee one and only Tim Dog, the man’s online dating name was “PerfectOne69.” If that isn’t a red flag, I don’t know what is.

Filed under: Hip-Hop, Music, Throwback Rap Attack, Yo! TECB Raps | Tagged: , , , , , | Leave a Comment »

99% of Canibus fans no longer exist.

Posted on June 10, 2012 by Chris

Although this will likely go down as the most historically embarrassing performance by emceeing and battle standards, I think the choke-job spectacle Canibus put on yesterday for the Vendetta competition is one of the greatest things I’ve ever seen. KOTD has yet to release all of the footage, but some of the stunned fans who purchased the live stream of the event had uploaded a few rough cuts onto YouTube. (See above.)

As you can see, he came strapped. Not in MC Eiht fashion with a glock tucked into his waist ready to season some broth, but on some dorky old senile man type shit with his right arm in a sling and rhyme-book in hand. Yes, after what I’m sure was a decent amount of money to appear, months of preparation time, and a decade-plus of spitting hundred-bar verses, Bis shows up to battle looking like the biggest pussy of a rapper of all time, and, on top of that, resorts to reciting rhymes from his notepad after not being able to recall the apparent thirty-pages of pre-writtens in his arsenal.

I’ve spent the better part of today preoccupied by this event, essentially by way of Bis’s awesomely awkward human metronome act being an unintentional mockery of what rap battles are today. Years ago, emcees had to improvise rhymes for competitors who weren’t known until it was time to square off. Now rappers sustain arm injuries from writing lines like “You just a funny guy with peanut butter-brown honey eyes” and read bars to the crowd like it’s story time in elementary school.  This whole Battle Royal event did nothing for the battle circuit but hold a magnifying glass above it so people could see how corny it has become.

All in all, I actually feel quite bad for Canibus. But I thank him for solidifying my opinion on the modern-day rap battle. Cats just aren’t doing it like this anymore. And it’s disappointing.

Filed under: Music, Hip-Hop, Events, News, Yo! TECB Raps, Throwback Rap Attack, CA All Day | Tagged: , , | Leave a Comment »

Represent WHAT!?!

Posted on April 1, 2012 by Chris

If Verbal or I have somehow yet to offend you before on TECB, this Kool Keith vinyl will certainly get the job done. Shit, even I’m offended by this women’s gaping butt-hole staring me in the face, but that’s neither here nor there. The photo, however, is completely relevant to the story I’m about to tell. So…

The other day, a FaceBook friend asked me to join a “yearbook group” or something of the sort that will keep me in touch with the fine folk I graduated Ponaganset High School with. Although I declined, much like every other invitation from people who I’ve barely spoken with before in my life, the invite reminded me of my infamously lame quote in the senior yearbook: “Keep it real.”

I wasn’t that lame, though. Honestly, I was a hip-hop-obsessed smart-ass weed-head who was one-upped by the yearbook staff. When the students of the graduating class were asked if we’d like a quote to go along with our senior picture, I took the opportunity to have the masterful words of Kool Keith be printed next to my smiling, seventeen-year-old face until the end of time. My submission was a direct quote from Keith’s “Keep it Real…Represent.” It read these exact words:

“Keep it real. Represent, what? My nuts!”

I fully expected the quote to be rejected on sight, but, much to my surprise, the yearbook staff chopped the lyric down and made me look like the biggest of goose eggs. Regardless. Thanks to the surplus of chron, hash, and (supposed) opium circulating throughout my crew post-graduation, I was able to laugh it off pretty quickly. And at least now, in my drug-free days, it makes for a decent story to tell.

Here are both versions of the song. The original recording from Ultra’s Big Time, Keith’s overlooked collaborative effort with Tim Dog:

And the version heard on Sex Style, Keith’s second solo venture from ’97:

Now go ahead and yuck it up in the comment section. I’ll continue representing the scrotum. Peace to Kool Keith.

Filed under: Music, Hip-Hop, 401 Gettin' It Done, Throwback Rap Attack, CA All Day | Tagged: , , , , , , , | 4 Comments »

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